Somebody please make a "Which True Detective Character Are You?" quiz, and there should be a ton of questions, but then no matter how you answer, your result is, "We are creatures that should not exist, by natural law. We are things that labor under the illusion of having a self, a secretion of sensory experience and feeling, programmed with total assurance that we are each somebody, when in fact everybody's nobody."
...Or maybe you can also get "You are the King in Yellow. Unmask? Please tell us that's a mask."